A Love Letter to Jonathan Hoag

Yesterday I ran across this news that’s nearly a year old.  (Thanks, Ciro!)  This fills me with happy joy and anticipation in a way that can only be understood by other people who’ve had something they love and adore adapted.

“The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag” is one of my favorite pieces of fiction ever, and is, I think unquestionably, the best thing Heinlein ever wrote.  The summary for the movie says it’s about a man who realizes he doesn’t know what he does at work all day, and hires a married PI couple to find out.  That’s a great summary of the inciting incident of the story – it’s not at all what it’s about.

The bulk of the story is about the PI couple.  The novella was written in 1942, before Heinlein got lazy about building his relationships between his characters, and this story is mostly a love letter to their relationship.  Ted and Cynthia, the PI couple, are real partners, a true team.  Cynthia winds up playing secretary a lot – something people justifiably criticize Heinlein’s heroines for doing all the the time – but she’s clearly doing it because that’s the role she needs to play when they interact with the rest of society, and she’s clearly playing.  The story pauses at several moments to sort of roll its eyes at the world that has those silly, narrow expectations for Cynthia, and to congratulate the couple for subverting those expectations to their own ends.

One of the things that has always drawn me to this is Heinlein’s unrelenting, visceral hatred of Chicago.  He hates Chicago so much that it’s one of his most detailed, real settings.  I’d already decided to move to Chicago the first time I read this, and the way he hated it, for being dirty, full of people, dense, was reassuring.  Heinlein and I do not want the same things from our living environments, much like we don’t want the same things from our open relationships.  But that didn’t matter, because telling this story in Chicago, and making Chicago a stand-in for everything that is broken and awful in this world, gives our heroes the space to be a couple, to be partners, to love each other.

And this is absolutely a love story.  A bleak, pessimistic love story that still finds a way to let our heroes have a happy ending.  A love story with protagonists who deserve each other and their relationship.  It’s a story about what it means that we can love each other, and what that love looks like, and what it’s worth.  And it does it with fantastically creep tension and a genuinely compelling mystery.

If you’ve missed reading this, and most people who aren’t dedicated Heinlein fans have, go read it.  It’s lovely and rewarding and well worth the time you’ll spend.

FogCon 2013: The Report

I am home.  I have even been to bed.  It’s wacky.

The short of it is that FogCon was great and I had a great time.  I was also on OMG all the programming ever.  So of course I liked it, because there are few things more fun than making people listen to me talk getting to connect with new, cool people and share conversations with them.

I went to the “Will the ticking bomb go off?” panel and enjoyed it a great deal.  The answer, as expected, was “Yes, in the scenario as constructed, it will.”  More entertaining for me was that about a third of the way through the panel I go, “You know, military interrogation sounds an awful lot like my sales process.”  Two-thirds of the way through the panel Terry Karney, the military interrogator on it, mentions that it’s hard not to buy knives from him. Take that, used car salesmen.

Charismatic Criminals went quite well which, as my first stint at moderating a panel, pleased me.  I made it most of the way before ordering everybody to go watch Luther.  We developed consensus that Lady de Winter is kickass and we’d like more characters like her.  One of my panelists was actually better prepared than me, having printed out the questions I’d sent them as “I’ll probably do something that looks vaguely like this” and developed researched answers for them.

Friday night involved me staying up in the consuite chatting with folk until the clock said it was my usual bedtime.  Since I was in California it was rather significantly past my usual bedtime, and I was concerned about the likelihood of me behaving, er, unprofessionally before my morning panel next day.  So I did something very uncharacteristic and was among the first to go to bed.  The universe did not implode.  There was rejoicing.

The Spec Fic singularity panel was pleasantly lively.  I simultaneously argued that there does, in fact, exist a cannon, while arguing that it can’t be definitively listed and nobody should feel obligated to read it.  There was a bit of push back on the first point, but mostly we all agreed that there are a ton of good books we want to read.

That was followed the Anarchists in Spaaaace panel.  This conversation wandered widely, and didn’t really dig into the bits of it I think it needed to.  Mostly there was a lot of unchecked idealism that I wanted to pull apart and destroy explore further, but there wasn’t time.  Also, this panel had me doing the thing I sometimes do on panels where I want the table to be a bit curved so I can see the other panelists without craning my neck.  Then again, my sofa is curved.  I’m strange.

Where Do I hold my Virtual Sit-in was probably my favorite panel.  There was really good discussion about the nature and tools of protest, the ethics, and the efficacy.  The moderating, Naamen Tilahun, is such a genuinely nice guy that I got to be an insensitive asshole and look like I was just providing balance, rather than being me.  Then again, Nancy Jane Moore ended the panel saying she felt reassured about the current state of protest than she had at the outset, which leaves me thinking I did something wrong.

My last panel (yeah, there’s another one) was the Liar’s panel, which I got put on mid-day to fill in for a panelist who might not be able to make it, who then showed up anyway.  I had no idea what a Liars panel was, but the part where everybody who did went, “Oh yeah, you should do that,” was a little telling.  I did an awful lot of talking about cannibalism and my practices thereof.  There was a point where I was clinging to Vylar Kaftan for protection from Ellen Klages.  There was another point where Vylar was fishing a paper lobster from Ellen’s pants.  I offered a twelve-year-old heroine and her dad didn’t call the cops.  You now know as much about how a Liar’s panel works as I do.

Saturday night featured soaking in the hotel hot tub after running off very drunk high school baseball players with out-loud readings of atrociously bad sex scenes.  I’m pretty sure I get karmic credit for participating in that.

Sunday was a long day.  I had my reading with David Levine and Nancy Jane Moore.  There were three other people in the audience, all of whom were brilliant, attractive people destined for happiness and success.  The cookies were, as expected, still moist and tasty.  There were also just a wee bit spicier than I’m used to them being – I’ve curried peanut butter cookies before, but they’ve never had the opportunity to age four days.  I was a fan of the results.  If the part where not even the crumbs came home with me is any evidence, so were other people.

There was more hanging out in the consuite, followed by dinner (Pho!) followed by packing and chatting with Gary Kloster, my roommate for the weekend.  Then I caught a plane, flew home, and worked a fuller-than-usual Monday.  So, technically, I think FogCon went until about 12:08am CST, Tuesday morning, because that’s when I finally went to bed.  Or maybe that’s not how it works.  I can’t tell, my eyes are bloodshot and full of sand. I think that’s a sign of virtue.  Or an awesome con.

Waffle House

I just got back from breakfast with my sister and her husband, and it occurred to me that as much as I talk about food here, I haven’t talked about what is one of my favorite places ever, i.e. Waffle House.

It’s not just that the waffle house is one of the last places you can get an unpretentious waffle, tiny squared and ready for syrup.  It’s not just that their hash brown portions are unabashedly huge and designed for sharing in a communal bout of fried potato fabulousness, and it’s not just that their breakfast meats aren’t limited to the standards of bacon and sausage links/patties.  Waffle House transcends even these elements of dive-perfect gastronomy.

When you’re in the Waffle House, you know what you’re there for.  Your menu is a laminated placemat, the booths surround the galley kitchen, and your waitress has a serious smoking habit.  Waffle House embodies the no-nonsense 24/7 breakfast aesthetic, packages it into a replicable chain like only American restaurant franchises can, and does it without being kitsch. They don’t sell Waffle House T-shirts.  Or knick-knacks.  You’re there for the aesthetic, but not as a tourist.  Waffle House isn’t performing for you, it just is.

And it’s tasty.

Next time you’re far enough South to check it out, do.

Incomplete Award Nominations

I’ve not quite put all my nominations for the Hugos and Nebulas together, but deadlines are fast approaching, so here are what I do know I’m doing.

Novels

The Killing Moon – Nora Jemison

Make no mistake, I plan to throw a spectacularly childish fit if this one doesn’t get nominated for everything under the sun this year.  If want to see me throw a spectacularly childish fit, I will throw one in order to solicit nominations for this book.

Glamour in Glass – Mary Robinette Kowal

I quite liked Shades of Milk and Honey, but the ending didn’t quite nail it for me.  Glamour in Glass had no such problems and was even more enjoyable than it’s predecessor.  And it’s not often that “Light-hearted” and “Comedy” are applicable tags to things I recommend, though they do apply to this series. I’m pleased there’s going to be more.

Alif the Unseen – G. Willow Wilson

This book wasn’t flawless – it falls apart particularly hard when the main characters start explaining the computer-y things they’re doing for anybody who knows anything about the computer-y things.  That said, it does the magic + computing thing better than I’ve seen anywhere else, and this is a trope that usually destroys a book for me.  The setting was great, and used to fantastic effect.  Well worth a nomination despite its flaws.

Short Story

The Three Feats of Agani – Christie Yant

I’ve already written about this story here.  It’s fantastic, evocative, and doesn’t flinch from the really necessary ending.

Robot – Helena Bell

It’s flash and I love it.  What more could you possibly need to hear to tell you this story is exceptional?

Her Words Like Hunting Vixens – Brook Bolander

Great setting, nice twist on Western tropes.  I was listening to the podcast of this story on my way to the airport last year and sat in the parking lot before turning in the rental car.

The Suicide’s Guide to the Absinthe of Perdition – Megan Ackenburg

The story is flat out beautiful, lush and worth reading or listening to, and nominating for awards.

Wing – Amal el-Mohtar

My weakness for pretty is known.  This is a pretty little gem full of atmosphere and numinous simplicity.

Dramatic Presentation

Todd Akin’s interview on KTVI-TV

Some fantastic science fiction going on there, which fearlessly delves into current social issues.  It almost cuts too close to parody for my tastes, but is nomination worthy all the same.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Basically because I, too, am well and truly fed up with Dr. Who sweeping the category even when it’s made of relentless suck, like the most recent season. See, I get bitter and lodge protest votes for things other than presidential elections!

Madoka Magica

I watched the whole thing in a single weekend.  It’s made of Anaea-crack, gorgeously animated, and mercilessly chews through tropes and turns them on their head.  I’m told if you’re more familiar with the Magical Girl anime genre than I am (which would mean having seen any of it) then it’s even better.  The possibility of that blows my mind.

I still haven’t decided whether I’m nominating myself for the Campbell.  It’ll come down to how hard it is for me to narrow down the list of people I’d like to nominate, and whether there’s room for me once I do.  Fortunately, the Hugos have more time for making decisions than the Nebulas.

Submitomancy

The awesome among you may recall my post a few weeks back about Duotrope and its implosion as a useful tool for me.  Fortunately, the universe is a nifty place full of people willing to go do stuff I think is important for me.  One of those people is Sylvia Spruck Wrigley, whom you may remember as a two-time winner from the Query game last year.  She’s running a crowd-funding campaign to fund her Duotrope replacement, Submitomancy.  She let me pick her brains about the stuff going on behind the scenes to get Submitomancy up and running.  Since it’s the behind the scenes things that brought Duotrope down (as far as I’m concerned) this was really neat.  And now I’m going to share my peak behind the curtain with you.

Ξ

Whenever I start a project like this, I know I’m in danger of actually doing it the moment I crack open a spreadsheet.  What was your first go-to for organization and planning in the early days of Submitomancy planning?

I try to start every day with a short writing period. I write 750 words as quickly as I can of whatever is in my head. It’s a brain clearing exercise. My goal is to get through it in under 20 minutes; my best time ever is 11 minutes. When I started to think about what I would really do, if I could design a submission system from the ground up, I wrote 750 words in 13 minutes and I wasn’t finished. I’d barely even begun. That’s when I knew I was in trouble.

Ha!  I know that feeling.

I know you put out feelers asking Duotrope users for what they wanted from an alternative. How did you prioritize different features and elements of the project?

I started with my own process. I’ve been using a combination of Sonar3, a custom spreadsheet and Duotrope, so there was a clear starting point of “how can I combine these things”. I never have as much time as I want for writing, so the whole point had to be that the system would make me more efficient than I currently am. Then I talked to other people to find out about their processes and asked what features they would like. Some of these were obviously amazing and fit right in. Others were less obvious to me but I could see the value. A key question was whether adding a feature was going to be confusing or slow users down. I’d love to track a million different fields when it comes to manuscripts because it would be interesting, but I also know that if I’m faced with a fifty-page form to fill in, I won’t bother. So finding that middle ground has been a challenge.

I have been pretty harsh about tagging features as Stage 1 and Later. If a feature isn’t required to launch a functional service, it gets filed under Later. The balancing act is to keep the development time down and still have as many exciting options as possible at the start, in order to get critical mass in the userbase.

How do you go about determining the expected development time for a given feature?

I document the feature in fine detail, ask the programmer for an estimate, and then double it.

What’s the plan for maintenance and adding new features after Submitomancy goes live? Will you be doing additional fundraisers to pay for development of features, or will that be coming out of subscription fees?

I don’t plan to run further fundraisers.

Running costs and maintenance need to be covered through ongoing subscriptions but in the first instance, I’m underwriting the cost. The Indiegogo funds will go straight into development, so the more the campaign earns, the more features will go live at launch. My plan is to get Submitomancy off the ground with founding members and then use the submission fees to cover the costs. Additional funds will then go into further development.

As a side note: this means that if you want all of your contribution to go directly into development of cool features, you should pledge now, rather than subscribe later.

Nifty.  Last question: What’s been your biggest lesson, take-away or point of enlightenment in setting up this project?

When I was planning the project, I thought a lot about risk. Most of the risks, both mine and contributors, could be mitigated through the crowd-funding campaign. I wouldn’t ask anyone to invest their time and effort unless we had enough users to make it worthwhile.But I was worried about risking people’s goodwill. I worried that by pushing this project, I’d use up whatever goodwill I’ve created within writing communities and with my writerly friends. I mean seriously, I’ve self-published a book, I’ve launched a crowd-funding campaign, now all I have to do is start hosting dinner parties to sell expensive chef equipment to win the annoying-friend-trifecta.

So before I actually went public with this, I actually sat down in the dark and thought, is it OK if this uses up all your friendship points and you don’t get to ask for any other favours from people. Ever. And in the end I decided that yes, this was a thing that I really wanted to do and I would ask for help and support and then I would shut up and not bother people again. I knew it was a very real risk and I decided to take it anyway.

The reality has been overwhelming. I’ve asked people to help me with getting the word out and not anyone has rolled their eyes or sighed heavily at the imposition. It’s been the exact opposite: so many people have offered their help and even insisted that they want to help more, it’s just unbelievable to me. And I guess it turns out that, honestly, it’s not about me. There’s not some sort of favour bank where I’m making a big withdrawal and hoping I don’t hit bankruptcy. People are giving me credit for putting myself out there and trying to make this happen. I’ve not lost any friends, I’ve made new friends.

And forgive me if I sound overwhelmed but that’s just stunning to me. It’s the last thing I expected. And no matter what else happens, I feel like I’ve been given something precious.

Argentina: All the Buenos Aires

This is going to be a catch-all post for time in Buenos Aires.  I could break it up in the various legs with the bits where we left in their chronological spots, but that requires many more blog posts, it’s already the year after we went, and it’s not like pictures from my phone are mega gorgeous anyway.  So.

That’s a picture of the planetarium.  I recommend walking around the planetarium because the grounds are quite lovely.  Don’t plan to actually go in and get anything out of it unless you speak Spanish, though.  It’s mostly just an Omnimax, and the movies are re-dubbed into Spanish.  Fortunately, I thought to ask about that before we bought tickets, so John wasn’t stuck in a giant cosmic movie he couldn’t understand.  That did, however, cramp our plans for the day a bit, so we wandered over toward the botanical gardens.

I wasn’t expecting much from these after the planetarium was a bust and the Japanese gardens had an entry fee.  This was wrong of me.  The grounds are deceptively large, as in, I expected it to be tiny but it just kept going on.  It’s also full of cats who are hanging out, lounging around, and generally reassure you that yes, somebody is keeping the gob-tobs of pretty birdies in the trees from becoming decadent.

The botanical gardens are also right next to the zoo, which we didn’t bother to go to because John wasn’t thrilled about looking at animals we can look at when home in Madison.  Point.  However, since there are food cart vendors hanging out outside the zoo, we did partake of some food cart lunch.  This was when I tried out the superplancha, a loaded hotdog.  Living in Chicago rehabilitated the hot dog for me a while ago, and the Icelandic hotdogs were quite nice while being idiosyncratic enough to keep me from feeling lame for going to a foreign country and ordering a hotdog.

Don’t order Argentine hotdogs.  They feature everything bad about American hotdogs, with a distressingly pasty quality to boot.  Absolutely anything else from a cart vendor is going to be better – absolutely everything else we ordered from a cart was really good.

After a week away in Bariloche, Peuma Hue, and El Calafate, we made it back to Buenos Aires just in time for the weekend fairs and markets.  This prompted an excursion out to Palermo, where they’ve got two rather large markets that happen on the weekend.  I enjoyed them greatly; there were lots and lots of things I’d have happily bought if I felt like schlepping half the crafts from the country home with me.  I picked up a pair of earrings and stopped there.

You may recall from the first Argentina post that I hadn’t been terribly thrilled with the restaurant selections I found recommended in the guidebook or online.  Talking to other people while we were away confirmed my suspicions that we were getting the, “Safe for nervous gringos” reviews as opposed to the “actually has really good food” reviews.  So I implement a new policy.  It came in two parts.  The first was that we were going to stop having dinner the very second restaurants opened (around 8pm).  The second was that our restaurant selections were going to be made by walking down the street and picking ones full of locals. John was skeptical about the efficacy of this policy.  I decided to test it by re-tackling Argentine sushi.

I think John is still of the opinion that my policies were insanity, and thinks we just started getting incredibly lucky all of a sudden.  Because, wow.  The food was really, really good.

Argentine cream cheese tends milder and airier than whats common in the States.  And they put it in all of their sushi rolls, rather indiscriminately.  This was a problem for John until he realized the texture of the local cream cheese (“Philadelphia” on the menus) might be different enough that it wouldn’t trigger his intense hatred of cream cheese in sushi.  And with one exception across two dinners, Argentine cream cheese worked great for him.  I think the trend to use Peruvian and Carribbean flavor profiles in designing the rolls – making them much fruitier and sweeter than standard US rolls – helped a lot, too.

This was probably the best presentation of shrimp I’ve ever had.  It was a Peruvian sweet and sour passion fruit glaze with cashew crumbled on it, and it was mind-blowingly good.  We wound up ordering it when, because they were out of green onion, the first three appetizers we tried to order weren’t available.  The waitress recommended it and she was right to do so.

If ever you are in Buenos Aires for dinner, EAT HERE.

Other excursions involved a chunk of a day spent in La Boca.  Even with strolling over there from San Telmo it wasn’t a full day, but the market had the best quality crafts we found anywhere.  It’s extremely tourist-y, though.  Aggressively, tackily touristy.  Worth going, but I wound up really put off by the kitsch.  Part of it was having to think in order to read the really offensive tourist T-shirts.  I compulsively read text when it’s in front of me all the time, but when I have to think about it, and then it’s something I didn’t actually want to read, it’s extra annoying.  Go for the street stalls and because the neighborhood is cute.  Stay out of the shops.

The Recoleta Cemetery, known for being both very old, and very big, was totally worth the walk.  Be prepared for shadeless sun exposure, though.  And it’s near enough to a clutch of neat museums and whatnot that you can make a pleasant day out of hanging out in the area.

Uhm.  Yeah. We wandered into a building that looked very MUSEUM because we were headed to the Fine Arts museum and it was kinda near the right place and I was hot and hadn’t looked at the map recently.  It was an art museum.  Contemporary art.  This whole wall was kinda special.  But hey, I learned a lot about wrestling and local culture surrounding it.  I suspect, since he couldn’t read the placards, John just got disturbed.

The Fine Arts Museum, by the way, is fantastic.  It’s free, the collection is impressive, and with the exception of one room which feels like a hodge-podge grab-all, very well curated.  We had to wait in line to get in since they were controlling the number of occupants at any given time, but the line moved pretty quickly.  I didn’t take any photos – too busy gawking.

This is the courtyard of the women’s prison museum in San Telmo.  It was right near all the nice antique shops and whatnot, and totally worth the cost of entry (Free).  Neat building, cool artifacts (the shiv collection was particularly impressive), and there’s a very pretty church right next door that’s also worth checking out.

The other really fantastic food we had in Buenos Aires comes with no photos – the lighting in the restaurant was bad and I was too busy having spasms of tasty.  There’s a Middle Eastern restaurant in San Telmo we’d passed a couple times, and since John and I both like Middle Eastern food and Madison lacks a really good source of it, we decided to check it out.

 I ordered the shawarma.  It was the. best. shawarma. EVER.  The flatbread was a little too prone to fall apart, but the meat was perfectly cooked, fantastically seasoned, and the tzatziki sauce was phenomenal.  I couldn’t finish it all, and was heart-broken about it.  John tells me that when the waiter came to clear our plates, I glared him down.  I think that’s an exaggeration.  I did clutch my plate a little hyper-possessively and make it very clear that I wanted my leftovers to go, please.  The other food was really good, too, but I’m going to have dreams about that shawarma for years.

It was so good, we went back for our last meal before catching our plane home.

Getting around we mostly took the subway.  This worked out great for our last leg because the subway workers were forming a new union (apparently the existing union had many more bus workers and they’d negotiated a contract that screwed the subway people) and striking.  This led to a bit of confusion, but mostly free subway rides since there was nobody there to sell tickets.  Neat!

We did a bit more riding the bus, though.  Our first leg we’d borrowed a transit card from one of the B&B staff.  Riding without the card turned into a bit more of an adventure than was really warranted.  A “I just dropped two coins on the floor and the bus is dark and I can’t find them and now we don’t have enough for fare, also what’s going on?” sort of adventure.  The bus driver excoriated me at length for being incompetent and wasting his time and being a highly ignorant, self-absorbed tourist who just traipsed onto the bus without bother to figure out how it was supposed to work.  I think he assumed I couldn’t speak Spanish, because I cannot fathom yelling at me the way he did if he thought I’d actually understand.

In the end, John did not really like Buenos Aires at all.  I didn’t expect him to.  I liked it pretty well, but I’m not in a rush to go back and (thankfully) don’t feel any particular tugs toward moving there.  I had a really great time, and it’s absolutely worth visiting, but if you don’t speak Spanish, do your research very, very carefully.  Buenos Aires is a challenge, and adding a language barrier can only make it harder.  It’s worth the challenge, especially if you like big cities, but it is not for a novice traveler going it alone.

Albums for you.

Argentina: Peuma Hue

There’s a tradition in Argentina where people go on vacation to Estancias.  You can do this for an afternoon or as an overnight stay for a few nights or longer, depending on your budget and the Estancia.  Depending on which Estancia you go to, this is basically a cross between farm tourism and renting space in a European castle.  This was the part of the trip that excited John the most, and agonizing over which of dozens of good Estancias scattered around the country we would go to was the thorniest part of the trip planning.  Ultimately I settled a Peuma Hue, which is just outside Bariloche, for a combination of reasons centered around the review of their food.

I didn’t take pictures of all of the food.  This is representative.  Of the appetizer.  At lunch.  I’d go back to this place just to keep eating.  Or possibly to propose marriage to their cook.  (Interesting trivia that is of course no way related, same sex marriage is legal in Argentina.)

The grounds are utterly, fantastically gorgeous.  They’re right on a lake, with woods covering nearby mountains that one can go traipsing on to one’s hikerly heart’s content.  Our first afternoon we took a boat out to a peninsula for what was described as a 1.5hr hike back.  John was mostly feeling better, but I was concerned about over taxing him, so we decided that sounded like the perfect way to kill the 5 hours until dinner.  We just needed to take this windy little path that went along the base of the mountain, with maybe a stop to check out a cave.

“Hey, John?  How stubborn am I?” I ask as I start scaling a big rock well off our path.

“Pretty stubborn.”

I get half way up, see an easy path the rest of the way up, and then look back at the route I’ve taken so far.  ”And how stupid am I?”

“You’re far enough away that I feel safe saying you are sometimes very stupid.”

Getting all the way to the top from there is going to be easy.  In fact, I’m taking pictures and clinging to the rock with my ankles and knees because I am a badass.  But I have no idea how, once I reach the top, I’ll get down without breaking, at a minimum, my camera.

I jumped down without going the rest of the way up.  After all, I’d promised to translate for John and the trip wasn’t quite half over yet.

“Why is everything here gorgeous?” John asked.

“You told me to take you to pretty places.”

“There are too many pictures to take.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?  My view senses were tingling.”

“I think I have to update my definition of view.  I thought that overlook back there was a view, but now I realize, this is a view and that was nothing.”

“Yeah.  But, uhm, I think we’re higher up than we’re supposed to be.  And I know we’re taking our time, but the Estancia is really far away, and it’s been 1.5 hours already.”

“I’m having fun.”

“Me too.  But I don’t want to miss dinner.  Dinner is very important.  It has food.”

The trail we wanted to be on was supposed to be marked by yellow and orange ribbons.  The trail was blazed well enough we didn’t really need them, they just served as a nice reassurance that we were doing things right.

“John, why is that ribbon red?”

“It’s a herring?”

*Glower*

“A red. Herring. Get it?”

“I’m not bringing your body through customs.  Even if I’m the one who killed you.”

“Oh, you have to see this,” John says when the trail finally looks like it’s about to start going down, instead of up.  After we’ve encountered wooden walkways that end abruptly after going off a cliff.

“Please don’t murder any more Spanish by trying to read the signs out loud.  I’m hot.”

“No, really, you want to read this sign.”

We’d come up behind it, so I had to go down the path and turn around to read it.

I have no idea how we managed that.

Evelyn, the lady who runs/owns the Estancia, is a genuine sweetheart.  One afternoon John and I were finishing up lunch with some other guests when she came to check in and see how our mornings went.  The other guests shared their story of coming back from a walk to encounter some of the farm dogs chomping down on a pair of goslings, much to the distress of the parents.

“Oh, dear.  That’s so sad.  I know it’s circle of life and all, but they were so cute.  It was just two?  So the parents didn’t lose everybody, at least.”

Her sympathy for the goslings was particularly memorable given her commentary when, on the way to the airport, she had to stop while a trio of dogs took their time crossing the road.  There was a bit of canine lounging involved in the crossing, even as she honked at them.  ”Those are the first stupid dogs we’ve seen in Argentina,” John and I commented.

“Yeah,” she said with a snort.  ”They won’t last long.”

We had a functioning wood burning fire place in our room, and put it to use.  They had the most stable internet connection of the entire trip.  They had a colt who absolutely adored John, especially his shoes.  It followed us for one of our horse rides, affectionately stalking John.  I may have not been so supportive of John’s distress, what with the uncontrolled snickering.

It should also be noted that, at least if I’m alone in the back of a two-person kayak, I am the world’s most ineffective kayaker.  I got stuck on everything, and half the time I still don’t know what it was that jammed me up.

They’ve got a hot tub.  A wood fired hot tub.  A wood fired hot tub next to a babbling brook.  Under a tree.  Where, if you soak in it after dinner you get a fantastic view of the stars coming out while the sun sets below the mountains, and the breeze is pleasantly cool even while it shakes the blooming tree overhead.  (More unrelated trivia, Argentina does not allow marriage to objects or locations.  Prudes.)

This was easily my favorite part of the trip, despite the high nature quotient and the absence of dense city awesomeness.  This opinion is not at all colored by the crass, unsubtle bribery they used to secure our favor. Namely: kittens.

More pictures here.

Review: Food & Liquor II: The Great American Rap Album Pt. 1

A couple months ago Nick handed me a stack of CDs, as he is wont to do.  One of them was completely black.  I don’t mean black text on black paper, I mean just black.  The liner notes?  Blank black pages.  ”What is this?” I asked.  ”It’s Lupe Fiasco’s new album.”

In case you aren’t familiar, Lupe Fiasco is the guy who got me interested in English-language rap by covering subjects varying from the awesomeness of Chicago, to Robots attacking D.C., to young skateboarders in love.  So it was with something akin to glee that I stuck the CD into my car stereo.

Thinkin’ protests are temporary and trendy
Well rock a t-shirt and carry a poster
And two weeks later it’s back to normal

- Ayesha Says (Intro)

This album crawled into the spot in my brain where my election-year-induced media obsession lives and put down roots.  Four years ago it was Dark Knight, this year it was Food & Liquor II.  He’s beautifully, powerfully angry, with all the eloquence I’ve been scrambling for since June.  There are a ton of fantastically poetic, clever lines, but it was it was this bit in the intro track that gave me notice I was going to love this album.

Anybody who’s had the (mis)fortune of riding in my car with me has been subjected to a steady litany of “Oh this song.  I love this one!  Oh, and this one too.  Have I made you listen to this one yet?”

The anger here isn’t my anger; I’m not a black and the album is thick with discourse about race relations and problems therein.  There’s a bit of pan-colored-people-solidarity which always strikes me as naive, but the power behind the words mostly makes it very easy for me to just shut up and listen.

I’m very tempted to do a song-by-song analysis explaining why each of the songs on this album is, one way or another, brilliant, but I’ll refrain.  Still, I have to squee a bit about what he does in Brave Heart.  The last verse is a rhetorically dense perfection with a fantastic punch line.

As archaeologists dig in the deserts of the east
A pit a hundred meters wide and a hundred meters deep
They discover ancient cars on even older streets
And a city well preserved and most likely at its peak

A society at peace. With liberty and justice for all
Neatly carved in what seems to be a wall
They would doubt that there was any starvation at all
That they pretty much had the poverty problem all solved

Religions kinda complex. Kinda hard to figure out
And this must be the temple
This White House

If you like rap, go get this album right now.  If you don’t like rap, but make any claims to liking poetry, rhetoric, or literary quality, go get this album right now.  If you don’t like rap but want to see what it’s like when it’s brilliant, album. Get. Now.

World Fantasy Con and Some Shilling

I hereby announce that I shall be at World Fantasy Con from about 8pm Thursday – 1:30pm Sunday.  I have a reading in Aurora on Sunday at 11:30.  This is the very say room where Pat Rothfuss has a reading of the same length on Friday.  This tells me they put Pat in a room that is much too small.

I’ll be mixing up Anaea’s Standard Practices of Readings and show up with a piece already picked out.  Crazy, yes?  I’ll be reading The Visited, a mock-rock-biopic which establishes both that I’ve ingested rather more ’60s rock than is natural for somebody my age, and that the summer of hope-is-a-lie stories is stretching into the fall of hope-is-a-lie.  Incidentally, John Joseph Adams just picked it up for Lightspeed.  I’ve always said JJA has good taste :)

Speaking of good taste, there will be chocolate at my reading.  If you come, I’ll probably share it.

And while we’re on the subject of my dulcet tones, you have donated to Strange Horizons, haven’t you?  I’m not saying anything, but if you like it when I read things, you have an interest in making sure they hit their stretch goals.

The Last Airbender: A mini-rant about Idealism

I just finished up watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, by which I mean the animated series, not the movie.  (I saw the movie first and it was so bad, it screamed “I murdered quality source material.”)  The first season is solid kid’s show with gestures towards being something interesting, and then the second season takes off, largely because Azula is made of awesome.  Why weren’t there role models like her when I was a kid?  I think the series’s biggest mistake was its failure to notice that Azula, not the Fire Lord, was the real antagonist of the series, which borked their finale a bit.

It’s got good characters, fantastic world building, a really solid plot and handles its cheery cuddly themes fairly well for a kid’s show.  There is, of course, a giant “but” there, and it’s in the way it handles those cuddly themes.

(Vague-ish spoilers for the finale below, though nothing you wouldn’t know from watching the show well before getting there)

As we crashing toward the finale, Aang starts freaking out over the conflict between the morals and ethics he was raised with and the actions he allegedly has to take in order to save the world from fire and destruction thanks to the bad guys.  There’s one, brief, moment when I thought the show had utterly transcended its status a kid’s cartoon, and it was when Aang gets told, “You’re the Avatar.  Doing your job matters more than your personal spiritual purity.  Get to it.”

“Wow,” said I to my viewing buddy.  ”What a practical, and fantastically realistic moral to teach kids.  That’s awesome.”

My viewing buddy doesn’t talk much, but his eyebrows were clearly shouting, “You’re insane.  Also, speaking too soon.”

I’m not all that upset with what they wound up doing, i.e. finding a third option that solved the problem without the moral complications, particularly since while they hadn’t directly alluded to the world building detail that enabled it, I’d sorta deduced it as a mechanism anyway.  And teaching kids to find creative solutions to problems and not just accept the either-or presented to them is important, because the world is chock full of badly framed problems.  So this isn’t even a full-throated gripe about the show.  They didn’t wince or cop out, they just stepped aside from something that could have been fantastic.

But, I’m really, really tired of feeding kids a steady diet of platitudes and idealism and calling it virtuous.  Love doesn’t conquer all.  Words do hurt.  Friendship frequently doesn’t last forever.  Good doesn’t always triumph.  They can’t be whatever they want when they grow up, if only they try hard enough.  There’s a thinking feeling human buried under everybody, but they aren’t always good, whatever you mean by good.  Teaching kids anything else just gives them unreasonable expectations, making it that much harder when reality slaps them.

I’m not saying we should start a campaign to bring doom and gloom and misery and woe to all the little kiddies.  I’m not even saying it’s wrong to give them media with those messages – being a kid sucks hard enough that they need to be lied to if they’re going to tough it out to adulthood.  It’s the all-saccharine, all the time diet I’m objecting to.  It’s the lack of moments where somebody looks their past life in the eye and gets told, “You’ve got a job to do.  Now get your hands dirty and go do it.”  Thank you, Avatar, for giving me at least that much.

Also, you want a pure leader willing to walk their own path and actively shape their own destiny?  AZULA’S RIGHT THERE. /gripe