Podcast: You Have to Follow the Rules

It’s September!  Fund drive is here!! Also a podcast!!!

Okay, that’s my exclamation point quota for the day.  They are meaningful exclamation points, though.  September marks the reduce probability of the weather persecuting me, which pleases me.  The Strange Horizons fund drive is the thing that keeps me in a podcasting job, and funds my favorite magazine, and also, if you donate enough money fast enough, will lead me to have a truly hilarious nervous breakdown.  There are four podcasts slotted as reward level unlocking things, which means I’ve got twice as many podcasts to put together this month as usual.

I did get some advanced legwork done, but my dream of having all four ready to go on September first, like all of my dreams about timely hyper-preparedness, did not pan out.  Unlock all four podcasts by the end of the week and I’ll have my roommates take pictures of the wailing, sobbing mass you’ve turned me into, then post them here.  My roommates might also throw in a bonus prize since they think it’s funny when I turn into a wailing, sobbing mass. (Everybody thinks it’s funny to persecute Anaea, because you are all bad, horrible people. And yes, that is why I like you.)

As for the point with the triple exclamation, hey, the podcast is worth it. This week’s is particularly timely, what with WorldCon and DragonCon and all the other giant convention-y things everybody is getting back from today. It’s also a story featuring a cute child which prompted exactly zero urges to vomit from me. That may sound like a left-handed compliment, but it’s actually pretty high praise. Check it out.

Podcast: August Poetry

Five poems this month!  And they’re really fun.  Check it out.

September is fund drive season, so the podcast is going to go a little NPR.  But there will also be almost twice as much podcast.  Also, bonus content.  You know you want to hear Julia and Ciro talk about going slowly mad as they strive to embody the poems they read, right? Yeah, it’ll be awesome.

Until then, there’s this week.

Podcast: A Plant (Whose Name is Destroyed)

Sunday I so completely forgot that it was Sunday that I failed to call the grandmother who isn’t currently visiting.  I’ve not called on Sundays before, but I think this is only the second time in ten years it’s been because I forgot.

Yesterday I spent the whole day thinking it was Tuesday.  I was so convinced it was Tuesday that I argued with a closed sign for a place that’s closed on Mondays, making the very strong case that since it wasn’t Monday, the place should be open.  I lost that argument.  Closed signs, man, they’re obstinate.

Which is why you should go check out the podcast today.  Because Today is Monday.  Stop looking at your calendar.  I don’t care what your calendar says.  Today is Monday. And there’s a podcast.  For you to listen to.

Podcast: Din Ba Din

Anybody who likes weird character stories should be up for this week’s podcast.

My grandparents are coming this weekend, which means needing to get next week’s podcast together early since I’ll be entertaining them when I normally record, and also, my office will be filling its double-duty as the guest bedroom.  Fear for me, people.  Fear for me.

But even more than that, check out the podcast.  You’ll be happy you did.

Podcast: Complicated and Stupid

One of my long term goals for the podcast is to have it turn me into a rock star.  I can show up at stadiums full of people demanding to hear me read awesome stories.  I’ll come out, shout “Hello Strangers!” into the microphone, and the crowd will go absolutely wild.  I have a lot of long term goals for the podcast.  And a lot of quirky fantasies.

It’s not as weird as you’d think, though.  I already get to use the podcast as an excuse to swap emails with people who are a little bit like rock stars already.  It’s official podcast policy – I will ask every author, at a minimum, how they want me to pronounce their name.  This even applies to people I’ve met.  I will send that email.  I will ask, at a minimum, that question.  Which means I’ve gotten to swap emails with some pretty cool people.  And for this week, it was Charlie Jane Anders.  Dudes, I already so cool by association, my stadium of screaming fans is coming at any moment.

Which is a lot of very silly build up to saying you definitely want to check out this week’s podcast.  Because Charlie is fabulous, and you want to hear me reading about porn stars and hamster poop.

Podcast: Count Poniatowski and the Beautiful Chicken

This week’s podcast brings a story with a nice, wry sense of humor.  It’s also full of nice, complex sentences.  And words.  This week has not been a week when words and I have been getting along.  More precisely, Anaea not brain so good.  (In fact, I’ve scheduled this particular entry ahead of time because I am actually taking today off, and hopefully spending it in bed.  Brain oozing out the ears is not attractive.)  Recording this podcast really hammered home to me exactly how friend in incoherent I’d become.  Because I couldn’t read.  At all.

I’m not kidding.  The final cut of this week’s podcast is just under 47 minutes. The original cut was 58.  That’s eleven minutes of me failing to say the words on the page that got cut out this week.  Nineteen percent of the original cut was pure me failing.  That is, by the way, a Strange Horizons podcast record, and one I hope won’t be beaten while I’m in charge.

Fortunately for y’all, we live in modern times where cutting out “Why the hell can’t I say centrif…gah!!!” is just a matter of a few mouse clicks.  And so you may go listen to this week’s story and find out what’s up with the chicken without suffering from my temporary illiteracy.

Podcast: July Poetry

This week’s podcast was brought to you by falling water.  First, the glass of water I spilled on the keyboard of the laptop I do the recording on.  Then, the big, loud thunderstorms that came rolling through right as I was going to start recording.  And finally, the glass of water I dropped in the lap of Nick’s Dad over dinner.  The last didn’t affect the podcast per se, but it did cap of a theme that plagued the weekend.  The laptop and father in question both appear to be fine.  Idi also seems to have once again prevented the sky giants from attacking through assiduous protection of my lap, not because she was scared, but because that was just where she felt like being if she wasn’t going to be growling at the sky from under something.

I suspect this was because the podcast was so awesome, the universe was trying to thwart it.  You should see what all the fated-fuss was about.

Podcast: Ten Cigars

You have no excuse for ignoring this week’s podcast because it is quite short.  Beautiful, but short.

In one of them there irony thingies, even though it didn’t take me very long to record as compared to a typical fiction week, I spent much, much more time editing it than usual.  I got hilariously obsessive about pause lengths and pacing since for some reason during the reading I let every sentence hang all lonely in space and upon editing decided that maybe that was not so pleasant to listen to.  It’s probably the most neurotic about editing I’ve gotten since killing the mysterious buzz of doom.  Idi mocked me at length, though it’s possible she’d have been mocking me regardless of what I was doing since that’s what happens to humans who are working at their desks when they should be petting her.

Anywho, go check out the product of my neuroses.

Podcast: In Joy, Knowing the Abyss Behind (Part 2)

I’ve been turning off the central air in my house to record podcast since we started running the A/C because it makes white noise in the background that I could hear pretty clearly on the podcast.  Since I usually only take about an hour to record the podcast, this hasn’t been an issue so far.  But this time around it was much hotter outside, and I wanted to try an experiment anyway, so I switched up recording locations this time.

It definitely has a different sound to it, but I’m undecided about whether it’s a net improvement or not.  But hey, two halves of one awesome story, what better way to test it out could there possibly be?  If y’all could do me a favor and let me know which week you think has better recording quality, that’d be awesome.  If you can tell me why, that’d be even more awesome because then I can narrow down ways to improve one or the other of the locations.

You know you want to.

Podcast: In Joy, Knowing the Abyss Behind

If you guys pay lots of attention to what I put here, then you already know Sarah Pinsker is awesome.  She was an early beta-listener on the podcast and was super useful for keeping me from embarrassing myself.  She also stepped up and volunteered to give us music, then went off with a buddy of hers to compose custom music for us, which is what we’re using.  So yeah, she’s awesome.  Which makes getting to read her story for the podcast extra fun.

Which is, of course, why I spent last week popping drugs and mainlining tea to try getting over a cold that filled my throat with crud and meant I wound up recording in ten minute chunks before pausing to put my voice back into shape.  Because, you know, “I have to live up to being awesome enough to do justice to your awesome which I have personally benefitted from” is the perfect time to have extra challenges.

I am mostly recovered, and get to do the second half the story for next week.  I will clench the awesome, with approximately four pots less tea.  In the mean time, go hear part one.