Things which I have learned lately

Well, only 25 things, some of them vaguely worded. That was purposeful.

1) I still instantly hate people who automatically address me with the first syllable of my name without knowing me.
2) I should never let people I instantly hate, even for somewhat silly reasons, cut my hair.
3) Nipple length really is the worst of all possible hair lengths. Except maybe shorter, but I’m not experimenting.
4) Not getting to play video games as a child has, perhaps permanently, crippled me as an adult. I haven’t been able to beat the big boss without the fsking rocket launcher for the last three levels, and now I can’t do with with the rocket launcher.
5) Huginn will have to go back. The keyboard is definitely too small after a day at work.
6) Having personal dislike for the people on the customer’s team is one thing. Having personal dislike for the people on the internal team is a whole other ball game. But, I can make it four months before it occurs to them that maybe I think they’re stupid.
7) Yes, I am as uptight about body fluid swappage as I thought I was. I’m also uptight about things I didn’t expect. But that could be a consequence of the test conditions. Experimentation with other conditions required before definitive conclusions can be drawn.
8) While making meringues, add the sugar before the eggs are properly stiffened so that they’re right where you want them when you’re done adding the sugar. Otherwise, they go back to runny.
9) It is highly probably that most of the stress and frustration from August-December, while believable as a proportional response to circumstances, was not in fact natural. I’ll give it another month before conclusion is definite, but if the mellow tolerance of all things stupid and annoying continues, I’m going back to my previous paranoid stance on birth control and me.
10) No, I have not lost weight. Yes, I am shaped differently. It’s amazing what being able to move without muscle spasms will do for your muscle tone.
11) I love massages.
12) So much it’s eroding some of my discomfort with touching people for whom I don’t feel deep affection.
13) But not that much.
14) I no longer hate, loathe and despise the town of my residence. This is good as I own a house here, and won’t be going anywhere for a while. A week in Kentucky helped. Christmas sealed the deal.
15) I still comma-splice like there’s no tomorrow. I do it so often, it got credited as a stylistic choice. Bad Anaea, no cookie.
16) It takes a computer geek .5 seconds to change his posture and conversational tone from patronizing to enthused upon discovering the idiot with the corrupted Windows system from the frat kids and cheerleaders section of the company is actually an Ubuntu nut with tits. The offering of card with contact info was very smooth.
17) Once in a while it’s a shame I don’t date. Except that once, with the guy whose name I didn’t know. Or that other time, with the valet, except that wasn’t a date so it doesn’t count.
18) My cat is the most adorable creature on the planet.
19) Attempts to make brownies for neighbors in effort to bribe them into not passive-aggressively hating you results in unpalatable brownies. Twice. Change recipes.
20) Northwest answers complaints about inappropriate arrest threats with offer for $125 off a flight. As if I’m doing personal travel with Northwest ever again.
21) If at first you don’t succeed, give him written instructions.
22) It is possible to get so tired your eyes can’t focus well enough to read. This will be the moment my brain solves the energy crisis. I’m coherent now and can’t remember the solution 😦
23) When work says, “No, we will not project the inauguration on our 54ft screen to keep people from streaming it at their desk,” what they actually mean is, “We’re not going to tell anybody we’re doing that until the last possible moment so they won’t reschedule meetings.”
24) I absolutely can’t focus without background noise anymore. I can’t think before 10am ever, and it’s getting to be closer to 11 on average, and I can’t remember anything. I still suck at taking notes. This is a problem.
25) I run checksums on reality, even while dreaming. This means that while hypnagogic I wake up before I end a sentence with, “While massaging Canadian policemen’s butts.” I have no idea how that sentence started, but I’d like to.

And now you know it all too.

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