Dear Universe,

Persecuting me is one thing. It’s expected, I know this. It’s funny when I pout, and people find it cute when I stomp my feet and rail at the universe, so they make me pout and provoke tantrums, then laugh at me. And you’re people, so I grok this.

However, your plot developments, of late, are getting weak. I fucking called this bullshit happening last night, well before it should have been signalled to me. You are out to get me, and you’re being uncreative. Stop it! I demand to be persecuted only by top quality nefarious plotting. I will not stand for this petty, clichéd nonsense. Get your act together or there will be no more funny tantrums from me, just quiet, bitter seething. That’s right, I will combat your lousy persecution by becoming boring. Is that clear? I think that’s clear.

Sincerely,

Anaea, victim of the bad timing for tentative good news*

*Yeah, okay, it’s good news, yay. But it’s good news I’d rather hear next week, when I have time, not now when it blows everything all to pieces.