…then you’re nearly as stupid as me.
Talking to mom today. Spend the first major chunk of the conversation going on endlessly about how amazing my TL at work is, for lo, she rigged it so I’ll be spending massive amounts of time in Chicago, for work. Clearly I’ve been radiating home-sick more than I knew, or my TL just rocks the whole world. Anywho, mom breaks into my plot for setting up a smuggling ring for Chinese buns to ask, “So, are there any boys you like at work?”
Clarity, I immediately thought of you. I was feeling envious. You have a get out of jail free card for these conversations, and apparently mine backfired. Observe.
“I like lots of people at work. And, well, I’m me, so most of them are boys.”
“It’s a company full of geeks. We’re all special.”
She changes tactics. “Anybody like you?”
“Nobody likes me. I’m intolerable. You lived with me for seventeen years, you know this.”
“Anaea, I’m being serious. Have you found anybody?”
At this point I check the couch to make sure that I haven’t fallen through a dimensional rift and he does in fact still exist. “Is something wrong with Don?”
“No, Don’s a very nice young man. Quiet, but he’s a gentleman.”
“Snrk.” Yeah, and I’m the epitome of lady. “I don’t understand your question.”
“Well, you two do that thing you do, and he can find other people and you can, so I wanted to know if you found anybody else.”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, and them’s that ain’t, I’ve managed to wind up in the worst of all possible situations. My mother can go ahead and quietly loathe and be resentful about the relationship I’m in while pressuring me to get a boyfriend. Pushing for grandkids is so last generation. No, all the cool moms are harrasing their kids into building a mighty harem of geek boys where hedonistic desire is served via electronics, science fiction, and redefing fetish toys. Raise your hand if you saw that coming.
My hands are not raised. My hands are holding a shotgun which I’m going to use against anybody who so much as lifts a finger skyward. You hear that? It’s not funny. NOT FUNNY.
Quit laughing at me. *Snf* Y’all are so mean.