A Query Game

After much revisioning and query drafting and perhaps too little synopsis revising, today I officially launched my search for an agent.  There’s a giant spreadsheet with stats tracking and everything, because I’m incapable of doing anything more complicated than pouring a bowl of cereal without a spreadsheet.  The two rejections that came within the first ten hours notwithstanding, I am cockily confident that I will, at any moment[1], have a passel of people begging to represent me.  I mean, come on, space pirates and sentient computers I put there just to fuck with people; I’ve basically made literary candy.  Also, I have ego problems.

Anywho, since, unlike with short story submissions, I’ll probably never hear anything back on the majority of the queries I send, I thought I’d turn this into a bit of a public game.  Otherwise there won’t be enough input into the feedback loop to keep it running and on target.  And so I hereby introduce you to Query-go-round 2012.  Here’s how it works.

This is an Anaea vs everybody betting against her game.  Anybody who wants to play picks a date for 1) My first partial request 2) My first full request and 3) My first offer of representation.  Whoever is closest on each of these gets a prize with ties going to the optimist.  In other words, if two people were both off by a week, the person who guessed earlier wins.  Because they’re cooler.  Prizes can range from me taking you out to dinner, baking you a pie, or traumatizing you in fiction.  You can name a desired prize when you place your bet, and I’ll let you know whether or not it’s acceptable.

But wait, there’s more.

Excluding the two queries I’ve already heard back on, I currently have eight queries out.  I should have a minimum of five out at any given time.  If I fall under five for more than 48 hours (in case I get a slew of responses all at once while I’m crunched) I take a hit.   For every third hit I accrue, everybody still playing gets to give me a penalty.  They have to agree on the penalty, and I’ll use a poll to determine it.  Past penalties I’ve paid for losing similar bets involved buying people ice cream, cookbooks, porn, and permitting Nick to read something I wrote out loud.  (Table.  Hiding.  Under.)

And that’s not all!

Come March 1 2013, if I’ve been shut out (i.e. no requests for anything), everybody playing gets a prize.  Again, we’ll negotiate what when the time comes.  I’ll also serialize the novel here so the world can see what a terrible wrong it’s done me[2].  This is not a promise to leave the novel here into perpetuity or whatnot as I’d like to sell the thing, but it will all appear here.  And then I’ll join the hordes of unwashed self-publishing masses full of angst and self-aggrandizement.  We all lose win!

In summary, opportunities to persecute me and prizes for betting on long odds.  What’s not to love?

Who’s in?

1. For values of any moment that include “Six months from now” and “Never.”
2. That high pitched whining is my tiny, tiny fiddle

P.S. Sorry to the RSS readers for the wordpress spasm.  For a minute there it was posting instead of saving to the drafts folder.  Not sure what was up with that.

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12 thoughts on “A Query Game

  1. Hi! I’d like to place a bet for the following:

    1) 1st June 2012
    2) 1st July 2012
    3) 13th July 2012 (because it’s a Friday, and what cooler day to have such an awesome thing happen?)

    Good luck with the agent-hunting!

  2. Murphy has a love/hate relationship with you, so I’m going for dates-with-inconvenient-timing.

    1) May 3rd 2012
    2) August 29th 2012
    3) November 3rd 2012

    • Sure, though given that you tend to be places I’d like to visit, if you’re willing to wait I would probably try to overcome the delivery problem.

      Also, wow optimism.

  3. Here’s mine (went for the long haul, just to have an outlier vote!)
    1. April 15 2012
    2. July 13 2012
    3, October 31, 2012
    and if I win, I want a copy of the book when it’s published. 🙂

    • Conditioned upon the fact that there being a winner does not guarantee that the book actually gets published, you shall have it. With my fabulous signature and everything.

      Though it occurs to me, I don’t have a signature for my pen name. I should go fix that…

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