I’d introduce you to Melissa Mead, but after reading her answers to my interview questions, I’m reluctant. There’s a ring of truth to them that goes all contrary to the whole “lying” thing. You see, her process, as described, looks an awful lot like mine. If I introduced you to her, you might start following her around with stakes and holy water the way you do to me. That would be mean. Instead, we’ll just dive in. And don’t forget, asking follow-up questions gets rewarded with more lies!
Where do you get your ideas?
From the very best writers, through a complex scheme of bribery and blackmail. I’d tell you the details, but then you’d owe me three bestsellers, a screenplay and a novelette.
How do you know when a story is done?
I write with ink brewed from monkshood, basilisk’s tears, and my own blood. When the story is finished the words flame with unearthly light, burning themselves irrevocably into the page. This does not make me popular with copyeditors.
What’s the hardest part of the writing process for you?
Coming up with ways to blackmail my idea-suppliers (See above.)
What is your typical day like?
Sunrise to sunset: Sleep. (Daylight is not friendly to my kind.) First hour after sunset: Brew ink. Feast on the blood of innocents. (also tea and buttered toast.) Most of the night: Inscribe my unholy tales of mayhem. Just before dawn: Subdue my writing implements, exult in another night of triumphant plotting, and return to my well earned rest.
Thank you for your aid in my plot for world domination time. Do remember to watch for Unholy Tales Of Mayhem, coming soon to an undead retailer near you.