Dear People of North Carolina,
You have my congratulations and hearty approval. I look forward to entertaining you in my home come November and serving you cheesecake. Please respond with your preferred type and the exact date (post-election) which will be most convenient for you. Specific details on the offer with be forthcoming as a better understanding of the situation develops.
Sincerely,
Anaea the Pleased.
Dear People of Indiana,
You’re a bunch of ungrateful fuckheads, you are. Which part of being in his backyard don’t you get? When you’re in somebody’s backyard, you vote for them. Period. That’s how this politics thing works. You are so lucky that the margin was minuscule or I’d have to rail on about this at length, and I have a plane to catch. You, feckless windbag state that you are, are on notice. Get your act together, and quick.
Sincerely,
Anaea Wrathful.
Anaea Lay 