Dear Scott Walker,
My name is Idi and I am an utterly adorable kitty. I am writing to you because my Mommy has been gone since Sunday. This is a problem for both of us.
You see, Mommy is very stubborn. When I annoy her or misbehave she can administer corporal cuddling until even I, a kitty, give up and repent. You’re a jerk, so Mommy keeps spending the night with hippies and organizing plots against you. She won’t come home until she’ll be able to get back into the Capitol. And she’s stubborn. She thrives on upsetting people she doesn’t like. That means no scritches or cuddles or chases with mousey for me!
I know you have a lot vested in out-smarting and out-stubborning my mommy. To keep you from losing face, I’ve broken out my adorable sad-kitty face. Nothing can resist kitty cute attack. People will understand.
Basement cat aspirant
(Totally stole the picture from Sylvie)