Telling Lies for Fun and Profit: Damien Walters Grintalis

So, apparently the manuscript-writing elves are a thing that happens to more than one writer?  This frightens me, since if elves came to start writing my manuscripts for me, I’d lose my vicarious outlet for my violent urges and have to actually go to all the effort of becoming a super villain.

I say this, because Damien Walters Grintalis talks about her experience with them below, where she tells answers my questions with a set of nice little fib-like things.  You should harass her in the comments, since her book just came out and she needs the distraction.

You just had a new book, Ink, come out. What was the best part of the publication process for you?

Rolling in my millions of dollars, of course. Planning to buy a mansion, a yacht, an island, or maybe I’ll just buy the moon instead and rename it Damien’s Playground. That would be awesome. I mean, everyone knows that all authors are millionaires, right? That’s why we write.

Where did you get the idea for Ink?

One time, at band camp, there was this kid and she–oh wait, wrong story. I woke up one morning, stumbled into my office, and there was the manuscript, all pretty and tied up with a red bow. I guess it was gnomes or maybe elves. I’m not sure where they got the idea though. Maybe a fortune cookie.

What’s the strangest fan interaction you’ve had?

I had this one guy follow me around for a few days. He showed up everywhere–the bank, the food store, my bathroom. It was a little creepy, but I got used to it. I mean, he wasn’t taking pictures or anything. Then I got Sugar, my pet velociraptor, and I haven’t seen him since. I guess he wasn’t a dinosaur fan.

What’s your next project?

Other than the whole buying the moon thing? Maybe world domination? There might be a manuscript in the works about a toad, a rabbit, a dinosaur, a kid at band camp, a magic 8 ball, and a bored teenager. It’s a coming of age story. Or maybe a dystopian. I’m not sure. Ask the elves.

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